For various reasons, two people who once shared a connection can decide to lead separate lives.
The presence of a child after a failed relationship would only complicate matters, especially if the split were less than amicable because you must both share in decision making, interact at specific times, and often speak about the welfare of your kid.
To find common ground as co-parents while still maintaining a healthy distance is a tricky minefield. However, these four tips will help you form a mutual understanding that favors your child’s growth.
Be Respectful and Professional
It is normal to harbor ill will towards your ex for the emotional, mental or physical anguish they put you through during your period together. This makes it more challenging to work with such a person as you may have no love for them.
However, for your child’s benefit, you must learn to put your negative feelings to bed and focus on being mutually respectful and professional, especially when on matters concerning your child. This means you should prioritize sensitive issues like child support and develop out-of-court solutions that favor the child.
You must also respect each other enough to make crucial parenting decisions together that significantly impact your child’s life, instead of as individuals.
Have a Parenting Schedule
A working parenting schedule should include transition times and places, preferably where you may not necessarily meet up. You can agree on specific days to pick your child from school, for example, and spend time with them.
During your time together, have a schedule of events that you undertake and this should include doing offline activities that bring you closer together, as you get to create lasting memories this way.
Stick to a routine and your child will begin to feel like nothing has changed even long after your break up.
Play Complementary Parental Roles
Every child needs a consistent parenting approach to differentiate between good and evil as they grow. It only confuses your child when you both have different parenting techniques, especially when it comes to fundamental issues such as homework, curfews, and bedtime.
It is better to combine heads and agree on predisposed rules together with their consequences instead of doing it alone. You should also include the privileges your child gets whenever they excel or during special occasions like birthdays.
Improve Communication
Improving communication with your ex doesn’t mean talking to them every minute.
Quite the contrary, enhancing communication means holding conversations on strict terms and only about matters concerning your child. However, this shouldn’t mean you can ignore your co-parent’s calls just because it’s not a life and death situation.
Instead, take the call politely, and listen to what they have to say before weighing its relevance, especially if it concerns your child’s well-being.
Communication, just like in relationships, is the key to successful co-parenting as your both on the same page regarding parental matters.
Conclusion
As a co-parent, physical separation from your child, even if it’s for a couple of hours or days, can have a significant impact on their development. Therefore, you must use the above tips to try and make the best of your situation for your child’s benefit.