In the US, almost 50 percent of marriages end in divorce (WF Lawyers). If you’re currently going through a divorce, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Unfortunately, it’s a very common occurrence in the US – but the good news is that most parents and children come out of them perfectly fine.
However, you and your ex-partner (now co-parent) are going to have to work hard during the divorce proceedings to ensure that your children experience as little trauma as possible. If you allow the divorce to get out of hand and create a toxic environment, then it will almost certainly have a negative impact on your children, which is naturally something you won’t want to happen.
So, if you’re currently worried about your kids and how your divorce might affect them, here are four tips for reducing trauma.
Get Divorce Counselling
These days, divorce counseling from Two Healthy Homes is one of the best options that former partners have.
Divorce counseling is fairly simple: both parents are expected to attend weekly (or monthly) meetings with a professional divorce counseling coach. The aim of these meetings is to help both parents get through the divorce amicably with as little damage caused as possible. With the advice from an outside perspective (the coach), many couples going through a divorce find it to be incredibly beneficial.
Of course, divorce counseling can’t fix every single problem that you have. However, it can certainly assist in making life easier for both parents and their children.
Avoid Arguments and Disputes in Front of Your Children
Aside from their parents no longer being together, the main aspect of divorce that children fear is conflict. The last thing they want to see is their parents persistently arguing with each other when they’re around, as it makes them feel sad and hopeless. When arguments and disputes are especially heated, it can even scare children and lead to them becoming traumatized. Knowing this, it’s absolutely essential that arguments and disputes are done behind closed doors in private. Otherwise, you run the risk of emotionally harming your children!
Answer Any Questions Your Children Have
It’s completely normal for children to ask questions during the divorce process. Communication is key.
For instance, they will almost certainly ask for the reasons why you’re divorcing. The key is to be honest as possible but avoid going into any unnecessarily upsetting details. As your children get older, you can perhaps go into further detail with them when they’re mature enough to understand what happened.
Your children will also want assurance that the divorce is nothing to do with them, so make sure that this is made clear from the beginning. As a result, your children will feel less guilt.
Try to Keep Routines in Place
Whatever routines your family had prior to divorce proceedings being started, it’s important to try and keep them in place. This includes everything, from school runs to any sports clubs that your children like to attend. By keeping their routines as close to normal as possible, it significantly helps to reduce any trauma or feelings of unhappiness.