This post was originally written for Hello Beautiful on October 30, 2013.
My oldest son, Jayden, recently started Kindergarten, which for me opened a floodgate of emotions. I had a rough time growing up and experienced my share of ridicule in school. Self-esteem is something that I struggled with in the past, and unfortunately, the spite from some of my peers still lingers today. Growing up, I needed a little more encouragement than “You can do it” and “They’re just jealous.” I lived and learned. Now, I have the opportunity to do things a little differently, ensuring that my boys are more resilient than I was. Here are some great ways (that we apply in our household) to help build your child’s self-esteem.
1. Give Them The “Why”
It is so important for our children to know that we care, believe in them, and understand the matter we are particularly providing encouragement for. While it is our job as parents to be supportive, it always helps to voice why we believe in our children. Kids can tell the difference between a lackluster “You can do it” and positive praise with reason. Sometimes it takes a reminder of their strengths and latest achievements to get them back on track.
2. Let Them Be Expressive
Children love expressing themselves through their clothing choices and hobbies. While you may not understand their latest fascinations, support them by showing interest in them anyway. Encourage them to write in a journal and welcome discussion. Having these freedoms will help them grow as unique individuals and they’ll be less likely to bottle their emotions or conform to societal pressures.
3. Positive Affirmations
Your child’s opinion of themselves matters the most because they know themselves better than anyone else. Those opinions need not be negative. Have your child make a written or verbal list of all the things that make them special and have them recite a few each day. Every day, I hear Jayden complimenting himself and even his baby brother. Just the other day, he recited, “My hair is beautiful. I am handsome. Baby is handsome.”
This practice of positive affirmations is powerful. It helps children internalize positive beliefs about themselves, which can counteract negative self-talk and build a healthy self-image.
4. Let Them Help
Whether it’s household chores, dinner prep, or a charitable cause, let them help. Children love to feel like they’re involved and part of a team. Helping out at home and volunteering in the community can provide a natural sense of accomplishment and a major boost to a child’s self-confidence.
In our home, Jayden enjoys assisting in baking cookies and muffins. These small tasks make him feel valuable and capable. Additionally, we donate our resources to those in need, which not only strengthens our bond but also instills a sense of purpose and accomplishment in him.
5. Lead By Example
How often do we look in the mirror and nitpick at ourselves? Children often mirror their parents. If you are unkind to yourself, chances are they may pick up on your actions. It’s important to nurture your own self-esteem to serve as an exemplary role model. Continue to challenge yourself and set goals. Your children will follow suit and become aware of their purpose.
I make a conscious effort to speak kindly about myself and highlight my achievements. When I tackle a new challenge, I share my experiences with Jayden, showing him that it’s okay to struggle and that perseverance leads to success. By modeling self-respect and resilience, I hope to instill these values in my children.
What Tips Do You Have?
These are some strategies that have worked for us in building Jayden’s self-esteem. What tips do you have for encouraging self-confidence in your household? Share your experiences and ideas. Together, we can raise a generation of confident, resilient children who believe in themselves and their abilities. Building self-esteem is a continuous journey, and with thoughtful effort, we can provide our children with a strong foundation for a lifetime of confidence and success.
Thanks for Pinning!
