What would you class as a good family life? Because we know that everyone has their own different views as to what a strong family is, how a family should behave, and the things that should go wrong with one. In fact, some are crazy enough to think that a family will just have no problems at all, as though it’s like a little fairytale that you might see on the films. When in all reality, we do believe ever family life is different. Different families have different ways of dealing with problems, and different ways of living life. We will admit that perhaps some are doing better than others at it, but it doesn’t mean that everyone is not happy with their own little family and the way it works. For the most part as well, all you’ll be getting is an endless supply of happiness surrounding you. As your children grow and develop personalities, you start to connect with them on an even deeper level than you did when they’re a newborn. But even as a newborn, you have this bond that you just can’t break with them, and it only gets stronger as they age and become their own little person! But for all of the times that you find yourself happy, you’ll also find yourself pulling your hair out as well. Nobody ever told you that raising a baby and being a family was going to be easy, and if they did we know they’re lying to you!
The Simple Things You’ll Struggle With
There are definitely some things that you are going to struggle with. If you’re reading this as an expecting parent, but are expecting to feel as though you’re never really going to struggle with anything, well you might want to skip this paragraph. Because it’s going to be a little insight into how the simplest of things can make a family struggle. The number one thing that we know all parents struggle with, and the children suffer as a result, is fatigue. Right from the moment they’re born, until they get well into their teenage years and really don’t rely on you as much, you’re going to get exhausted. They’re going to need you and your partner for every little thing in life, and it can get to the point where you might feel as though you literally have no time to yourself, let alone to sleep. Hopefully, once you get some form of routine sorted things will improve, but you’ll often find that parents are so stretched to the limits, that they truly are exhausted. To combat this, and to cut down any tired related arguments or bad parenting, take it in turns to have a weekend off. One weekend, one of you should do all of the housework, cooking, playing, shopping etc. The other can truly relax for a few hours each day. Whether it be sleeping in all morning, going out to see friends, or just doing something that isn’t family related. The time away from family life won’t need to be longer than a few hours, but having the pressure taken off of having to do everything around the home will just help so much!
The Age Related Hiccups
We’re not going to talk about your age here, so don’t panic. But what we do need to talk about, is your children’s ages and how the things along the way can affect them. The first hurdle you’re going to have to come across, and one that will definitely confirm for you that family life just isn’t easy, is the terrible twos. They can actually happen from anywhere above the age of 1, and they come hard when they do. Tantrums, lashing out, being aggressive in pretty much every way, they’re all things that you’re going to fall victim to. They will disrupt your perfect family life massively, and it’s going to take some resistance to tackle. Our top tip would be to make sure you’re ignoring their tantrums, rather than responding to them. When they lash out, or if they move to the hitting phase, bring in the naughty step to drive it out of them. But for the simple little tantrums, ignorance is bliss, and the more you respond to them, the more they will rise to the challenge!
The second challenge you’ll face is when they come to their teenage years, and all of the hormones that their bodies didn’t know existed before, come rushing in to ruin the party. They’ll become angry, confused, scared, and definitely start hating on you. It’s rare that you’ll find parents who can get through their teenage years with their children, without feeling some kind of huge resentment from them. To try and keep things on happy terms, you need to try and stay as close to them as possible. Help them through the changes that they’re going through, and encourage them to learn about their body. You also need to try and be that fun and supportive parent who isn’t all up in their personal space all of the time. They’re going to need to explore, and this is the time where they truly do learn their independence. As long as you’re that person by their side, rather than fighting against them, it’ll be pretty easy to keep your bond strong!
Things You Might Be Doing Without Realising
Now this is where a lot of you might become a little stuck, because how are you meant to try and keep things smooth sailing, when you’re not even sure what you’re doing wrong half of the time! Well, it’s only the small things in life that actually a lot of parents do without even realising, which means they definitely don’t realise that they’ll also be affecting their children as well! It’s the subtle things that parents do but screw up their kids for life, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a bad parent. If you were to follow the link above, you will see so many different ways that this could be being done, through things you say or things you do. But they’re simple little things that we know all of you do! But if you want something that’s not on the list, but we know has a profound effect on the children you’re raising, is whether you argue or not. Everyone has arguments, and none more so than couples who spend their entire life around each other. But there comes a time where you really do have to take it away from your children. If you’re just simply bickering, this won’t do much. But if you’re full blown arguing all of the time, saying nasty and hurtful things, you’re going to perhaps even bring the kids into things, then you really should think about couples counselling. There’s no time in life to be arguing all of the time, and it’s so important that you focus on the happiness you have together. If you are going to argue, make sure it’s out of earshot of your children!
Making The Most Of Being A Family!
Sometimes we feel this is what people are forgetting to do. Some are so wrapped up in actually being a parent and providing for the family, that they forget what it actually means to be a family. We know life is just one stressful rollercoaster that’s super hard to get off of, but it’s your family who should encourage you to make the most of life. So, our top tip here, is to make sure you can go out and do fun things at least once every two weeks, if not every weekend. But we bet the first thing that came to your minds was the thought of spending money, wasn’t it! Well, you don’t have to be spending a fortune just to have a good time with your family, you could easily just go for bike rides, random road trips, or taking a picnic to the park. But then you can spend some time saving, and on the other weekends you can do something that might cost a little bit more. Perhaps going to the cinema, a play center, or bowling. But still, all of these things aren’t really going to break the bank, but they’re all memories your kids will love to look back on!
Outside Factors That Might Affect You
As a final note, we want to explore some of the factors that might affect you, but you really can’t do much about. We’re talking about the stresses of life outside of your own little family bubble, that really do threaten the good you’ve got going on. The main threat will be from your job and the money that’s bringing in. If it gets to the point where you feel as though you have no money for yourself, and you’re just not happy with what you’re doing, try and find a new job. Do something that you’re actually going to love, and find ways to get more money from it. If people aren’t happy in their line of work, and then come home to a stressful home environment, it’s going to be so easy for family life to be ruined!