Let’s not beat around the bush; mom guilt is a terrible thing for any parent. Even when your kids are out at school all day, you may well feel that you have an obligation to focus every little thing you do around them. You may spend the time shopping for new school clothes or cleaning their rooms. God forbid that you spend a single second of it thinking about anything other than keeping your family afloat. The moment you so much as sit down or let attention sway, you may feel some sense of failure. You may even feel that you have to make it up to your kids in some way. Even worse; other people have a habit of jumping on that mom guilt bandwagon if you take time for yourself. How could you? You’re a mom now, after all.
The trouble is that guilt like this is both misplaced and ultimately harmful. You may be a mom, but you’re also a person with hopes and needs of your own. If you spend every waking second trying to make your kiddie’s lives that bit better, you’re sure to suffer for it. Remember that, no matter what the consensus seems to be, moms deserve me-time too.
Lucky for you, we may have the answer to this problem. Instead of feeling guilty about doing things for yourself, it’s possible that you merely need to find a way to please your mom-self and your personal self. By thinking about things which could benefit you and your family, you should be able to practice self-care without worrying about that pesky mom-guilt.
The question is, what types of things should you be focusing on here? In reality, that very much depends on what works for you. Trying a few things out may well be your best shot at making this work. If you’re stuck for ideas, though, it’s worth considering the following starting points.
Practice a hobby the whole family can enjoy
When it comes to self-care, it’s difficult to imagine anything better than a hobby. These are the ideal way to focus your attention and bring peace of mind to your days. By thinking about which hobbies you pick, you can make sure these are skills you transfer to your family life later. An ideal example of this would be a hobby of cooking. There’s something meditative about cooking for enjoyment. It can be an incredibly satisfying experience. Even better; you could then transfer those new cooking skills into your family life. As simple as that, you get the calming practice you’re after, without leaving anyone able to criticize. And, cooking isn’t your only option, either. Skills like knitting and sewing can also work towards this goal. They can chill you out like nothing else while allowing you to make nifty things for your kiddies. Even something like cross stitch could serve to decorate rooms in your home. Don’t think, either, that these are all outdated hobbies. Crafts and skills like these have become hot stuff recently, and with good reason. When it comes down to it; few things are better for achieving the mindfulness you’re after.
Learn the right values
You don’t need us to tell you that the values we pass onto our kids’ matter. As they grow and experience new things in the world, they’re sure to look to you for guidance. They will, in most cases, adopt the values which you teach them at these crucial stages. For the most part, you’ll find that the values you teach your kids are the ones your parents taught you. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t still seek new values to pass on along the way. How you do this may vary. Standard options include things like joining groups or even attending church. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, you could even opt to study online courses from various affordable Christian colleges which could see you studying with Christian values in mind. These also have the benefit of giving you verifiable qualifications for yourself. It doesn’t matter how you do it; the point is that you surround yourself with values which you know to be good. These could teach you a lesson or two which you aren’t expecting. And, of course, they can go a long way towards shaping your kiddies into the people you’d like them to be. As with anything, you will need to keep your head about you. In some cases, these seemingly good values may not sit right with you. And, that’s okay. By choosing only to pass on those lessons which you can get behind, you could help your kids grow into respectable people indeed. All while you focus on living a better life yourself.
Clear your mind by clearing the house
To many of us, the idea of clearing the house doesn’t exactly seem suited to self-care. Isn’t this one of those mom jobs which won’t benefit you at all? Hence why you spend all day avoiding the chore as much as you’re able. The trouble is that cleaning in itself is a personally beneficial activity. This is something we’re more aware of than ever, with figures like Marie Kondo showing us how much cleaning can benefit our wellbeing. There’s no denying that you’ll never be able to reach the desired levels of personal peace without cleaning the house first. Clutter in the home is also clutter in the mind. If you’re trying for a self-care day with mess everywhere, then, you’re never going to feel the benefits. What’s more; a messy home is no good for a family. At the very least, clean space is essential for kiddie hygiene. You may soon find, then, that taking care of this means killing two birds with one stone. Not only will you feel better for the effort, but your family will then arrive back to the clean space they desire. Even if you don’t think this will benefit you on a personal level, you should give it a go. It’s surprising how calming cleaning can be when we approach it with the right mindset.
Get social with other mommys
Socializing is essential for everyone. When you’re used to the company of youngsters, though, this can become even more of a lifeline. Being able to get out and talk to an adult once in a while could, in fact, prove to be the one thing which keeps you sane. The trouble is that, as well as being open to mom-guilt, socializing with single friends can get tricky when kids are on your mind. You may even find that the distance between your lifestyles makes you feel worse than if you hadn’t socialized at all. By comparison, meeting up with fellow moms can help to eliminate these issues. This way, you can get the break you need with someone who’s life somewhat mirrors your own. You’ll be able to air your kid-based fears during a meeting like this. If the mom in question has a child of similar age, you could also use this as a chance to arrange playdates for your kids. That’s a double-whammy no mom should sniff at. You can pretty much bet you’ll feel a lot better in yourself after sessions like these. So, stop avoiding chatting to those moms at the school gates. They could be your ticket to a more settled life.
Take some you time
Okay; so guilt about taking you time is what got you into this dilemma in the first place. The second we moms so much as sit back to relax, those guilty voices kick in at the back of our minds. We feel like people look at us in scorn when we mention trips to the salon or spa sessions we treat ourselves to. For some reason, moms are never made to feel as though this stuff is beneficial. But, we’re going to end this article by switching up that thinking. In reality, you needn’t feel as guilty about taking time for you as you have until now. That’s because this, too, benefits your family when it comes down to it. Consider that, given a choice, your kids would definitely choose to have a happy mom. And, a mom who is happiest is sure to be one who has taken the time they need. Next time you book up at the spa, then, kick that guilt to the curb. Instead of thinking about all the other things you should be doing, consider how much better a mom you’ll be after that massage. Having the chance to chill out and clear your mind can see you refreshed and ready when you pick your kids up from school. Sure, the house may not be as clean as it could be as a result. But, that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is that you look after yourself so that you can look after your family. If that means regular spa sessions, then so be it.
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