There cannot be many of us who really mean it when they say they don’t care how they look. For sure, there are levels of attention, some of us care more and some of us care less, but when it comes right down to it, none of us can be as blase as we’d like to be all the time. So if we have a personal philosophy of not judging by appearances, or not presenting a false image to the world, does this make us hypocritical? Does caring about how we look make us vain?
It’s obviously a little more complicated than that – but as we’ll see below, there are positive messages to take from our attitudes towards the way we look. And, hopefully, some answers to criticism from people who might see us as being vain or hypocritical.
The face you present matters more than ever
Although many – even most – of us are back in the office, the era of video chat is here to stay, both in personal and professional settings. While you can get a lot of mileage out of sticking some tape over your webcam and pretending it’s broken, sometimes it’s impossible to escape being seen on Zoom. When that small square on a screen is all that people have to put to your name, it’s inevitable that you’re going to want to look your best. Even if you’re wearing pajama shorts under the desk, you’ve got to kill it from the neck up; it might not matter that much to you, but clients and co-workers will expect that you “make an effort”.
Surgery isn’t a Hollywood thing anymore
Particularly for those of us who’ve been around for a few years, the two words “plastic surgery” can evoke negative stereotypes, mostly based on the images of celebrities who have gone too far to try and retain their youth. But there again, a board certified plastic surgeon isn’t always going to be trying to take years off your look; often, their work can correct a false impression like dark circles that make you look tired when you’re not. As with so many other things, it’s a question of moderation. If you feel like surgery will help you look more like your best self, it’s worth considering, as long as you don’t expect eternal youth.
A beauty routine is about more than “just” beauty
There are some really unreasonable comments made about why women wear makeup and adopt other beauty rituals, as though the effort to curate one’s appearance is all about impressing others. There are in fact dozens of little reasons why you might put on makeup or adopt a beauty routine, many of which have nothing to do with how other people view us. For many of us, the point of a routine is the routine itself – taking the time to whiten our teeth or do something with our hair makes us feel in control and self-confident. That’s not something to feel ashamed about – it is part of being us.
It’s not vain to care how you look. Sometimes, it is quite simply an acknowledgment of what is expected of us. And in truth, your reason for wanting to look a certain way is nobody’s business but your own – so don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.